The No News Update
Still nothing to report. I haven’t had anything to talk about for months. I play games, and I talk to people online. That’s it. Lyme sucks. Anyone will tell you that. But I usually remain optimistic…sometimes it just wears on you. This is one of those times. I’m just having a hard week, and most of me knows that, but it’s just wearing on me.
I’m continuously convincing people that I’m not dying, and I know I’m not…but after so many times it seeps into your brain. I don’t know what to do to get that idea out of my head. It’s getting to me. And having no idea what I’m going to do when I’m well enough to leave the house just irritates me. I’ve never been one to need a crazy specific plan, but I have a strong feeling that as soon as I’m well enough I’ll have to take the first crap retail job I can find just to pay off the last (almost) two years. That just seems unfair to me. Part of me knows that life has a way of working things out, even if it’s not what you expect…but I just don’t want to go back to retail. I don’t want to enter the house a 22 year old and come out a 25 year old who’s farther behind than when she went in. I don’t mind a lateral move, but it’s the massive steps backwards is pissing me off.
Part of my problem is that I haven’t been sleeping again. We’ll see how that goes.
So this is why I don’t update. It’s because I have nothing new and nothing good to say. On the flip side though there’s always a good side. I am astonished at the people who I’ve met online. I haven’t advertised that I’m sick, so it’s even more surprising that these complete strangers have been gifting me games to play. And I’ve actually made some amazing connections with some people, though it terrifies me to admit that.
The bottom line is, I can’t wait to get over this rough patch, and I always say it to others, so I’ll say it to myself and to you guys (if anyone reads this)….There will always be good times. No matter what.
Thanks for reading, –Cassie