Small Hopes

Harry and I still haven’t been in contact since our fight.  We really only see each other every now and again in school when class is in session…but we chat online almost every day.  Or we did.

It’s starting to worry me, but I don’t know what to say, how to initiate contact.  I’ve had days to think about it and I still think I was right, so I can’t apologize.  I’m more than willing to apologize for my language, but not my reaction and certainly not my opinion.  I guess I’m afraid that he won’t accept that.  I’m mostly afraid that I’ve ruined this friendship forever, that I’ll never really see him again, or chat ever again.

One encouraging thing I guess is the fact that neither of us have deleted the other from our friends list, so maybe he’s not ready to let go either.  Maybe there’s a slim chance that he still wants to be friends.

The next step for me I suppose is to gather the courage to talk to him again and see what he’s thinking.  I don’t mean bringing up the whole issue again, moreso just talking to him to get a feel for whether or not he’s ready to forget it…I know I am.  Before I do that though I want to make sure I’m prepared to let go of the hope of returning to that relationship, that I’m ready for his reaction…or maybe it’s better if I just do it and take whatever it is he has to deal out.

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