The last couple of weeks have been hard, I’ve been having a tough time symptom-wise and on top of it I thought I might be losing one of the friends I’d met online. It was stressful. Wanting to avoid drama he never talked to me about the issue, so instead I was left wondering for weeks, and he was left with who knows…
Lyme can affect cirulation and respiration, and cause fatigue. This makes physical activity tedious sometimes. Despite that I force myself to walk everyday, as a good friend said to me while I was in the midst of a panic attack: “Healthy body, healthy mind”. Sometimes the walks suck, but I know that they’re helping regardless, as long as I know what’s pushing it and what’s pushing it too far.
Yesterday two amazing things happened. Firstly, my friend finally talked to me. He said he felt better, I know I felt better. Part of the resolution made me a little sad, mostly because I’m curious about the whatifs, but overall I couldn’t be happier. I keep smiling about it. For the first time in a long time I feel like I’m not losing him. The second thing was that my breathing became a little easier. It was amazing.
So as a result of those two things I slept amazingly well last night, AND I got in a solid 30 minutes of running today. I also woke up to a new game gifted to me on Steam, and was gifted a second one only an hour later. The games were just cherries on the sundae of my day. The thought behind them is really what floored me.
One of the worst things about have anxiety with lyme is that when I start to feel better I’m exhausted. Anxiety is absolutely the most tiring thing in the world. Anyone who disagrees hasn’t had anxiety. That said, I’d rather be tired than anxious.
It’s beena good couple of days, and honestly I really needed it. Small things have a huge impact on people. Be it a game, or a comment, or being honest when there’s an issue. No need for drama, no need to get emotional, just be honest. What almost served as a reminder to me to keep people away instead became a lesson in keeping them around.
Anyway, I’m getting scrambled.
Thank you to those who have read and commented. I do this for me, but you’re a bonus.
There will always be good times. –Cassie